Beautifully put. I too was enlivened last week by the piece by Maria Rodale. And in my life it’s the first time I’ve felt our country, our progress, has now become Regress. And it scares me for women everywhere. Thank you for your solidarity, Friend.
I'll comment on a separate, but related, mother situation. Not me, per se, as a mother, but the unique benefit I had as the daughter of two mothers. Gerri, my adoptive mom. Ruby, my birth-mother whom I met at age 30 (me) and knew until her death at 94 (hers). Here's an excerpt from a poem I wrote in 2017 entitled "Two Mothers", unpublished until today:
"A
timeless
bond. Equal,
honorable,
respectful. Gerri,
mother of Linda, an
artistic soul, creative
identity starved, extinct in
life’s volcanism. Ruby, mother of
Linda, life giver, universally
loved, of salubrious kindness, the glue
of her family. Gerri, Ruby, two
mothers, one child, loved kindly,
unconditionally, most
reverently. Shedding
will in favor of
resonance, of
belonging
felt and
shared."
It continues with me as the adoptive mother - with very mixed experience.
What I am reminded of in this experience is that women can, indeed, dissolve any potential mothering conflict (which never existed between these two women) in favor of just love. Both Ruby and my mom did just that.
Linda, this is beautiful. I just last night finished reading Blue Nights by Joan Didion. She adopted her daughter and says, "Adoption, I was to learn although not immediately, is hard to get right."
I felt like you could replace "adoption" with "parenting" and it would be just as true. It's all such a complicated business, and complicated can be beautiful, as your poem illustrates. I love what you said here about dissolving any potential mothering conflict in favor of just love. It is all hard to get right, as Joan says, but that is surely the way to do it.
Delighted to see you and your 24 yo pastry chef planning a meal (I have a 24 yo bread baker.) These gal get-togethers are precious...you want them to have their own lives, but it's sweet when they want to be near you and revisit the fave foods you raised them on.
Thank you for your thoughtful words about Mother's and the lives we have and are living. I like to float FLOWERS down the river to honor the mothers of my linage both known and unknown, this includes my youngest daughter and now my mom too. May all feel the balm of loving mothers everywhere. , even if you have to be that LOVING mother to Yourself. Blessed Be
What a beautiful ritual, Tara. Over the past few months I've received several reminders about the power of taking the time to honor the things that matter to us. I have a tendency towards rushing through and need the gentle reminders to stop for a moment and mark what matters. Thank you for sharing this.
Beautifully put. I too was enlivened last week by the piece by Maria Rodale. And in my life it’s the first time I’ve felt our country, our progress, has now become Regress. And it scares me for women everywhere. Thank you for your solidarity, Friend.
Thanks for this, Rebecca - all of it.
I'll comment on a separate, but related, mother situation. Not me, per se, as a mother, but the unique benefit I had as the daughter of two mothers. Gerri, my adoptive mom. Ruby, my birth-mother whom I met at age 30 (me) and knew until her death at 94 (hers). Here's an excerpt from a poem I wrote in 2017 entitled "Two Mothers", unpublished until today:
"A
timeless
bond. Equal,
honorable,
respectful. Gerri,
mother of Linda, an
artistic soul, creative
identity starved, extinct in
life’s volcanism. Ruby, mother of
Linda, life giver, universally
loved, of salubrious kindness, the glue
of her family. Gerri, Ruby, two
mothers, one child, loved kindly,
unconditionally, most
reverently. Shedding
will in favor of
resonance, of
belonging
felt and
shared."
It continues with me as the adoptive mother - with very mixed experience.
What I am reminded of in this experience is that women can, indeed, dissolve any potential mothering conflict (which never existed between these two women) in favor of just love. Both Ruby and my mom did just that.
Linda, this is beautiful. I just last night finished reading Blue Nights by Joan Didion. She adopted her daughter and says, "Adoption, I was to learn although not immediately, is hard to get right."
I felt like you could replace "adoption" with "parenting" and it would be just as true. It's all such a complicated business, and complicated can be beautiful, as your poem illustrates. I love what you said here about dissolving any potential mothering conflict in favor of just love. It is all hard to get right, as Joan says, but that is surely the way to do it.
Always so grateful when adult children want to cook with parents! So sweet to honor your mom and grandma’s recipes this way 💗
Right??? It’s so fun to cook with my adult children. But honestly, they make most things more fun. Thank you, friend.
Thoughtful, provocative, delicious. All the right ingredients, AND that gingerbread!
Thank you Amie. I really do love that gingerbread recipe. It’s nostalgia in a pan.
Delighted to see you and your 24 yo pastry chef planning a meal (I have a 24 yo bread baker.) These gal get-togethers are precious...you want them to have their own lives, but it's sweet when they want to be near you and revisit the fave foods you raised them on.
Yes! It’s so fun to have them want to be involved in something together. I love it.
Thank you for your thoughtful words about Mother's and the lives we have and are living. I like to float FLOWERS down the river to honor the mothers of my linage both known and unknown, this includes my youngest daughter and now my mom too. May all feel the balm of loving mothers everywhere. , even if you have to be that LOVING mother to Yourself. Blessed Be
What a beautiful ritual, Tara. Over the past few months I've received several reminders about the power of taking the time to honor the things that matter to us. I have a tendency towards rushing through and need the gentle reminders to stop for a moment and mark what matters. Thank you for sharing this.