I would trade Mother's Day for...

Not a flowers and brunch recipes Mother's Day message | Four family recipes from my mother and grandmother

❤️ Did you know that if you hit the heart or recycle symbol at the top or bottom of this post, it makes it easier for other people to find this newsletter?

---

With my mom, and my three kids.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and friends, let’s be honest about the fact that the holiday is a mixed bag.

We wrap it in flowers and brunch recipes, but you don’t have to look very hard to see the expectations and disappointments underneath. We all know someone for whom the holiday is a painful reminder of loss and grief.

Perhaps that someone is you.

Perhaps we can just say what is true.

Here’s something that is true for me: I would trade Mother’s Day for actual respect for motherhood. In a heartbeat.

Perhaps you can tell that this isn’t a flowers and brunch recipes kind of Mother’s Day message? Yes, well. I think I’d rather just be honest.

I am 50 years old and every year adds to my knowledge and life experience while simultaneously decreasing my certainty about nearly everything. Except this: Motherhood is not something to jump into lightly and should not be forced on anyone for any reason.

Even for those of us who choose it willingly, who treasure the role and love their children more than their own life, motherhood is relentlessly hard. For me, it has been the source of great joy and indescribable pain.

When our girls were younger I told them that they were lucky. That, in human history, there was no better time to be a woman than now. At least in some places. At least in the place and time and family they were born into.

I suppose in some ways, that’s still true. They are luckier than many. Probably luckier than most. And they live in a country where a man can a brag about grabbing pussies and be convicted of sexual assault and we’ll elect him president.

They are surrounded by people actively engaged in work to remove their right to choose how they express gender, whom they choose as a romantic partner, and whether they want to become a mother in any and every circumstance.

And I know these things were also true when I was younger. But, it felt like we were continuing the work of the women who came before me to make these injustices a thing of the past. I believed that was the goal. I believed we were getting there. I was naive.

Friends, as I think you’ve guessed, I am weary of the relentless devaluation of women and motherhood.

Two weeks ago I read this brilliant piece by Maria Rodale. I thought about adding one or two of my favorite quotes from the essay here to entice you, but it turns out that my favorite quote is the entire article, so here you go.

To All The Men Who Want Women to Have More Babies...

In compete sincerity: Happy Mother’s Day to each and every one of you - those of you who are mothers, who know mothers, and who have a mother. Motherhood is a choice that deserves our reverence, respect, and celebration.

And, if flowers and brunch are involved, all the better. But, can we have our flowers and brunch without pretending that’s all it is? Can we have our flowers and brunch without pretending that it’s enough?

Two things can be true at the same time and these two things are true for me: I am discouraged by the treatment of women and motherhood. And, I am optimistic that we can do better, largely because of all of you who are still reading and nodding, and going about doing all the ordinary and extraordinary things to make it so. Thank you.

---

Here’s what you’ll find in the rest of this issue:

• In case you missed it, check out the link to the replay of the live cocktail class I did last night with Robin Bergdoll!

• An invite for Substack food writers.

• In honor of Mother’s day, four recipes from my childhood: My mother’s chocolate peanut butter bars and banana bread, my grandma’s potato soup, my great grandmother’s gingerbread.

---

Cocktails 101 with Robin replay

What a blast! Last night’s cocktail hour with me in Colorado and Robin in Santa Fe and a bunch of other friends from everywhere = Best Friday night ever.

And also, isn’t Robin the greatest??? Didn’t we learn so much???

If you missed it, we made French Gimlets and Black Manhattans and here’s where you’ll find the replay:

---

Upcoming Classes

Here’s where you’ll find all the information about upcoming classes and all the replay links for past classes: www.rebeccablackwell.com/s/classes

If you’re a Lost Supper Club Member (paid subscriber) who would like to join me as my co-host for a live cook-along, please reach out! Send me a direct message on the Substack App, or an email at rebecca@rebeccablackwell.com, or leave a comment below.

---

Join my daughter Anne and I next week for Supper at Six

Our youngest daughter, Anne’s favorite meal is Chicken Piccata. I made it for her often when she was young and lived at home. And I still make it for her when she comes over for a visit (though not as often as she would like).

Anne and I on a sailboat in Door County, Wisconsin last year.

Anne is almost 24 years old (her birthday is later this month) and a pastry chef. I asked her if she would do a live cook-along with me and she immediately accepted and suggested that we make Chicken Piccata, of course.

We’ve titled it Supper at Six in honor of one of our favorite books, Lesson In Chemistry.

I hope you’ll join us. You’ll find all the info (date, time, link to join) in the link below along with the recipe if you’d like to cook along.

Supper At Six

---

Are you a Substack Food Writer?

Once a month, a group of food writers gather together for a Mastermind meeting and if you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you. Meetings are once a month, usually on Wednesdays, and last 90 minutes. They are held on Zoom, always free, and recorded for anyone who isn’t able to make it.

All you have to do to attend is subscribe, then watch your in-box for the monthly meeting invite.

---

Four recipes from my mother and grandmother

Because it’s Mother’s Day weekend and we are currently in Colorado, where I was born and raised, I thought it appropriate to share a small handful of recipes from my childhood. All four of these recipes appear in many of my favorite memories - my grandma made them, my mom made them, I made them, my kids make them.

I hope you make them too. Like all family recipes that are passed down through the generations, there is a reason why they stand the test of time.

---

My Mom’s One Bowl Banana Bread

I grew up with my mom making banana bread at least once a month. At any rate, that’s how I remember it. Hey, mom - how accurate is that recollection?

When our kids were little, I’m pretty sure I made it at least once a month, and probably more.

It's one of those super easy recipes that contains ingredients I always have around the house, and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy even on the dreariest days. This recipe is also the first thing I suggest to new bakers and self-proclaimed terrible bakers because it’s really hard to mess up.

Here's what you do. Ready?

1. Put all the ingredients in a bowl.

2. Mix.

3. Pour the batter into a loaf pan.

4. Bake.

5. Eat.

6. Repeat

Where you’ll find the recipe: One Bowl Banana Bread

---

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Bars

When I was a child, we just called these cookie bars. No need for further clarification - cookie bars were these cookie bars.

Like the banana bread, they are extremely simple to make. Even including the bake time, they’ll be cooling on your counter in under 40 minutes. And also, they involve chocolate and peanut butter which was one of my favorite flavor combinations as a kid, and still is.

I’ve made a few minor modifications to the original recipe. Mostly adding more salt and vanilla, a bit of almond extract, and increasing the peanut butter to sugar ratio in the glaze.

Even with the added salt, these are quite sweet. Which is, I’m sure, one of the reasons I loved them as a kid. My adult taste buds loves a good salty balance to sweet flavors, so I sometimes also sprinkle some sea salt over the warm melted chocolate and add a generous handful of chopped, roasted and salted peanuts over the glaze.

Makes: 18 - 35 bars, depending on how large you cut them

Time: 35 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (120 grams) all-purpose flour

• 1 cup (89 grams) oats

• 1⁄2 cup (99 grams) granulated sugar

• 1⁄2 cup (106.5 grams) packed brown sugar

• 1⁄2 teaspoon baking soda

• 3⁄4 teaspoon salt

• 1⁄2 cup (113 grams) butter, at room temperature

• 1⁄3 cup (90 grams) crunchy peanut butter

• 2 teaspoons vanilla

• 1⁄2 teaspoon almond extract

• 1 large egg

• 1 cup (6 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips

For the Glaze:

• 1⁄3 cup (38 grams) powdered sugar

• 1⁄4 teaspoon salt

• 3 tablespoons peanut butter

• 4 - 5 tablespoons milk

Optional: Flaky sea salt and chopped roasted and salted peanuts

Instructions:

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Smear the inside of a 13x9-inch baking pan with a thin layer of vegetable shortening or softened butter and set aside.

2. Add all the bar ingredients except the chocolate chips to a large mixing bowl and beat with an electric mixer on low speed just until combined. You can also do this by hand with a wooden spoon. The mixture will be dry.

3. Dump the dough into the pan and use your fingers to press it into the pan so that it covers the bottom in an even layer.

4. Place the pan in the preheated oven and bake for 15-20 minutes, just until the top of the cake is starting to turn golden brown and the top looks set.

5. Remove the pan from the oven and immediately sprinkle the chocolate chips over the warm cake. Let stand for 5 minutes then use an offset spatula to spread the melted chocolate over the cake in an even layer. (Optional: sprinkle a bit of flaky sea salt over the warm melted chocolate.)

6. Add all the glaze ingredients to a small bowl and stir until smooth; add just enough milk so the mixture is thin enough to drizzle.

7. Use a spoon to drizzle the glaze over the bars in a crosshatch pattern, or in whatever pattern you like. (Optional: Top the glaze with a generous handful of chopped roasted and salted peanuts.)

8. Cool completely then cut into bars.

---

Grandma Kesson’s Potato Soup with Rivels

Both my grandma and my mom made this soup, or some version of it, often when I was a child and back then the rivels were my favorite part.

Rivels are small egg and flour dumplings that are apparently common in Pennsylvania Dutch cooking. My family is not Pennsylvania Dutch, so I honestly don’t know when my family started making them, but according to my grandma this recipe goes way back.

That little ball next to the potatoes is a rivel!

Here’s what my grandma wrote on the recipe:

“I have no recipe, as such, for this soup. I watched my Grandma make it, also my mother, and have made it for my family for a lot of years. Everyone seems to love it. I know these directions are not very specific, especially the amount of milk to add. A quart is just a guess, but after you’ve made it once you can probably tell more about amounts. While you’re eating it, think about your great-great grandmother feeding it to her 3 (probably always hungry) boys! The rivels are what make it unique.”

The recipe includes 6 ingredients: bacon, potatoes, onion, milk, an egg, and flour, plus salt and pepper. The challenge with my grandma’s recipe is that you must maintain the temperature of the soup at a point where it’s hot enough to cook the potatoes but does not ever boil. This is because the broth is made entirely of milk.

Boiling milk changes its structure, giving it a curdled appearance and a burnt taste. So, you must monitor this soup carefully while it cooks to ensure that it never boils.

I’ve modified the recipe slightly to avoid that situation, cooking the potatoes in broth then adding cream or half and half at the end. I also increased the amount of bacon and added some chopped green chilies.

My grandma stirred the bacon into the soup after crisping it but we prefer to sprinkle it over the top of our soup right before eating so it stays crispy. We also like to top our soup with some shredded cheese and chopped green onions, but that is completely optional.

Other than that, this recipe is basically the same. I made it earlier this week and those rivels brought me straight back to my childhood.

Makes: 4-6 servings

Time: 1 hour and 10 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1/2 pound bacon, preferably thick cut

• 1 tablespoon vegetable or canola oil

• 1 medium yellow onion

• 4 medium to large size Yukon gold potatoes

• Salt and ground black pepper

• 8 ounces chopped green chilies (optional)

• 3-4 cups chicken or vegetable broth, or Better Than Bouillon soup base mixed with water

• 1 cup all purpose flour

• 1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk

• 1 cup cream or half and half

• Optional, for serving: Shredded cheese and chopped green onions

Instructions:

1. Chop the bacon into one or two inch pieces and add it to a large heavy bottom saucepan, braiser, or dutch oven along with the tablespoon of oil. Toss the bacon around to coat with the oil and set it over medium heat. Cook, stirring from time to time, until the bacon is starting to get crispy. Remove the pan from the heat and use a slotted spoon to move the bacon to a paper towel lined plate to drain.

2. Check the amount of fat in the pan. If there’s more than about 2 tablespoons, pour out the excess.

3. Chop the onion into pieces no larger than 1/2 inch and add them to the pan. Set the pan over medium-low heat and cook, stirring frequently, until soft and translucent.

4. While the onions cook, peel the potatoes and cut them into bite size pieces. Add the potatoes to the pan with the onions and sprinkle with salt and ground black pepper (if the broth you are using is salty, go easy on the salt). Stir the potatoes around in the pan and let them cook in the fat for a couple of minutes.

5. Add the green chilies and the broth - add only enough broth to barely cover the potatoes. Turn the heat to high and bring the broth to a boil then lower the heat, cover the pan, and let the potatoes simmer until they are tender.

6. In the meantime, make the dough for the rivets: Add the flour to a small bowl and move it around to create a well in the center that’s large enough to contain the egg and egg yolk. Crack the egg and the egg yolk into the center of the well. Use a fork to whisk the eggs, slowly incorporating the flour as you whisk. When the mixture begins to form a dough, use your hands to continue to mix the eggs and flour until you have a dry dough that mostly holds together. Cover and set aside.

7. When the potatoes are tender, slowly pour in the cream (or half and half), stirring as you pour. Bring the liquid back to a very gentle simmer. Then, add the rivels: Break the dough into small pieces that are about half the size of the potatoes. As you break off pieces of the dough, add them to the pot. Use a spoon to push the rivels down into the hot liquid so they are submerged. Let them cook for about 3 minutes.

8. Taste the soup for seasoning and add more salt and pepper if desired.

9. Serve with the toppings.

---

Glorified Gingerbread

This is another recipe that was passed down from my grandmother to my mother, who made it often. As an adult, it was one of the first recipes I asked for. Here’s what my grandma wrote on the recipe:

“This was a favorite in our house when I was growing up. My mother made it often. The topping makes it a little different. All of. you gingerbread lovers will love this.”

This is one of those no-frills, simple recipes that is so easy to make and always sounds good to me. Here’s where to get the recipe: Glorified Gingerbread

That’s all for now, friends. Wishing each and every one of you a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you next week.