The Cure for Loneliness

Let's Get Lost, Issue #41: How to change the culture, Birthday cake and St. Patty's day recipes, juicy recommendations, three new recipes, creative hosting, and gift ideas

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In this issue:

• The cure for loneliness

• What to make this week: Funfetti birthday cake 🎂, Chimichurri steak sandwiches, and my favorite St. Patrick’s Day recipes

• New recipes! Potato Leek Soup and Moody Fruits Cobbler

• For members of the Lost Supper Club (paid subscribers): Photos and video from our northern Louisiana campground, a few juicy recommendations, a stunning gift from Italy, another new recipe - Pasta with Olive Tapenade and Kale, a creative idea for adding more social connection and fun to your week, and downloadable pdfs of all the recipes in this issue.

• Reminder: Paid subscribers can get the new Let’s Get Lost Cookbook for just .99 cents.

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The cure for loneliness

Earlier this year I listened to an episode of Simon Sinek’s podcast A Bit Of Optimism titled The Cure For Loneliness with U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. The episode was recommended by a friend and Lost Supper Club member who said it reminded her of a lot of what we talk about here.

From the episode…

The most important thing about having people over is the company. It's not the setting, it's not the food, it's the company. And that's what we remember whenever we go over to people's houses.

So we just started inviting people over and saying, you know what? Our place is a total mess. It's chaos. The kids are probably gonna be screaming in the background. We may have to leave multiple times to like figure out what's going on with them. And the food may be so-so… I can't guarantee it's gonna be amazing, but just come over. And people came.

And you know what they said? They said, thank you for having us over. Thank you for making it okay to come to a home that's not totally spic and span, 'cause our home is the same way. People aren't coming for the food, they're certainly not coming for the furniture. They're coming for the company. And all you have to do is be good company.

In January, another friend and Lost Supper Club member forwarded an article in The Atlantic to me - Americans Need To Party More by Ellen Cushing.

The article also quotes Vivek Murthy, who is clearly on a mission to address the elephant that we all know is in the room: We are social beings living at a time when society at large has forgotten how to be social.

From that article…

“Many Americans are alone, friendless, isolated… Our national loneliness is an urgent public health issue, according to the surgeon general. The time we spend socializing in person has plummeted in the past decade, and anxiety and hopelessness have increased.”

The podcast episode and the article are worth the listen and the read but we don’t need them to tell us what we already know: Loneliness is a problem, possibly at epidemic proportions.

Earlier this week I participated in a Mastermind meeting for food writers on Substack where I asked the group how they manage to keep up with everything they want to read. In response, I received deep sighs and shoulder shrugs and words like subscription fatigue.

If all I did all day long was read through my inbox, I would still not get through everything I wanted to read. Same for videos, podcasts, and actual books.

We have an overwhelming amount of access to other people’s thoughts and ideas. So, it’s ironic that we seem to have less access to people.

One of the things that I think gets in the way of our social health is a resistance to just inviting people into our lives. I love Vivek’s realization that there is value in having people over to share the evening as it is.

As you saw in last week’s issue, there is a time and a place for spectacular parties. But, we can also just invite people into the day we are already having.

Vivek points out that one of the most important ways we can, as a society, increase our social health is to make community and service a more normal part of our existence. This struck me as so obvious it’s profound.

One of the things that makes them {service and community} deteriorate over time is when they drop out of our culture, when we don't see them anymore. It's really important to be able to see these things… To make them part of the norm, part of the culture.

And when we don't see them, then it doesn't become the norm anymore. And then you don't try it and you don't do it, and then it seems strange. It seems like, I don't know anyone who does that kind of stuff, and so you don't do it. So the question is, how do we rebuild this service as a norm? So it's just something you see people doing.

It seems to me that there are a lot of us who very much want to make service and community the norm. We are trying. And I want to say to each and every one of you nodding your head right now - keep going. It matters.

Culture is not something out there. WE are the culture. As we invite others over for impromptu dinners and fancy parties, and community service, and potlucks, and neighborhood BBQs, and a traveling dinner party in an RV, we are changing the culture.

We rub off on each other, is my point.

If we want our culture to be driven by purpose and meaning, we have to create it and model it, and find others who will do the same for us. We have to make it normal.

Like as kids growing up, we need to see that modeled for us, that focus on relationships and service. We need to see a purposeful life talked about and discussed, whether it's in school or in the stories we hear, or in the books that we read. This has to be part of what surrounds us… and culture changes when people decide to believe something different and to do something differently. And then more and more people join them. And that's how we shift culture.

That's what we're called to do right now.

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What to make this week

Funfetti is not necessarily my favorite cake (please don’t ever ask me to choose a favorite because I think my head would explode from indecision), but it’s certainly my favorite birthday cake.

Everything about a funfetti cake screams birthday, doesn’t it? The sprinkles, obviously. But also the buttery vanilla flavor of this cake is distinctly birthday cake, especially when covered in classic American buttercream.

Honestly, I only really want sprinkles once a year - on my birthday - which happened to be earlier this week.

Our youngest daughter is visiting us here in northern Louisiana, and the two of us spent the afternoon making steak sandwiches, homemade potato chips, and a funfetti cake. Then we took everything over to the home of some friends where we ate it on their patio because mother nature saw fit to give me a gorgeous 70 degree evening. Happy birthday indeed.

And just in case you’re curious, if you put 50 candles on a birthday cake and light them, it will melt the buttercream in mere seconds and reinforce that 50 is a lot of candles.

There’s really no reason to wait for a birthday for steak sandwiches and funfetti cake. If I were you, I’d add them to your week as soon as possible.

Here are the recipes:

• Chimichurri Steak Sandwiches

• Funfetti Cake

• Classic American Buttercream

Saint Patrick’s Day recipes

St. Patrick’s Day is Monday and we’ll be celebrating as we always do with corned beef and cabbage and Irish apple cake. I make this every year with plenty of mustard sauce and parsley buttered potatoes. I always make extra so we have enough left over for corned beef hash and Reuben sandwiches.

1. Corned Beef and Cabbage with Mustard Sauce - this recipe includes both slow cooker and instant pot instructions

2. Irish Apple Cake with custard sauce or whisky sauce

3. Corned Beef Hash

4. Reuben Sandwiches with easy Russian dressing

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Potato leek soup

This is one of those humble, creamy soups that reminds us that the simplest food is often the best food. The secret here is to cook the leeks and potatoes in some butter and garlic before adding any broth, which develops their flavor and makes your kitchen smell deliriously good.

This soup is delicious as is, especially if serving it as a first course or alongside other dishes. But, if you want to make a heartier soup, add some additional potatoes, cut into bite sized chunks and boiled in salted water until soft.

Other good additions include crispy pieces of bacon, cooked Italian sausage, and white beans.

Time: 1 hour and 30 minutes

Makes 6 generous servings

• 5 tablespoons butter

• 2 large leeks, white parts only, chopped into small pieces

• 2 1/2 - 3 pounds of baking potatoes or Yukon gold potatoes

• 3 large cloves of garlic, peeled

• 6 cups chicken or vegetable broth, or Better Than Bouillon mixed with water

• 2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves

• The zest and juice from 1 large lemon

• Salt and pepper

• 1 large bunch (about 2 cups) of fresh Italian parsley

• 1/4 - 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

• 10 - 12 scallions

• 2 cups milk

• 1 cup heavy cream

1. Cut off the dark green part of the leeks, so only the white and light green part remains. Trim the bottom from the leeks to remove the roots then cut them in half lengthwise. Place the leeks cut side down on a cutting board and cut them into 1/4-inch slices. Add all the pieces to a colander and rinse well in the sink to remove any dirt.

2. Peel the potatoes and cut them into 2 - 3 inch chunks.

3. Add the butter to a large saucepan and set it over medium heat. When the butter has melted, add the leeks, potatoes, and garlic and stir them around in the butter to coat. Cook, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes, then cover the pan, turn the heat to low, and let the vegetables cook for 15 minutes. Remove the lid and give everything a stir a couple of times while they cook.

4. Add the broth, thyme, lemon zest, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper. Cover and simmer for 45 minutes, until the potatoes are very tender.

5. While the potatoes cook, add the parsley and 1/4 cup olive oil to a blender. Puree the parsley and the oil, adding as much oil as you need to create a thick sauce. Scrape the parsley oil into a bowl and rinse out the blender.

6. Chop the white and light green parts only of the scallions, cutting them into thin pieces. Set aside.

7. Add the milk and cream to a medium size saucepan and set it over medium heat. When small bubbles begin to appear around the edges of the pan, cover the pan and turn off the heat.

8. When the potatoes are very tender, puree the soup in batches by ladling it into a blender. Fill the jar of the blender no more than 2/3 full at one time. If the lid of your blender does not have steam vents, set the lid askew to allow room for steam to escape. Puree on medium low speed until completely smooth. Add the pureed soup back to the saucepan and stir in the hot milk and cream.

9. Squeeze in some of the lemon juice. Taste and add more salt and pepper and/ or lemon juice, to taste.

10. Ladle the soup into bowls and top with a drizzle of parsley oil and some chopped scallions.

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Moody blues cobbler

Cobbler is one of those things with a thousand variations. The topping can be pie crust, puff pastry, cake-like, cookie-like, or biscuit-like. I have published three favorite cobbler recipes, all three of them with a chewy sugar cookie crust that I find absolutely delightful:

1. Peach cobbler

2. Berry cobbler

3. Apple cobbler

Last year, I was inspired by a cobbler we had at a BBQ joint in Georgia and created this recipe for Southern Apple Cobbler (that recipe is also in the cookbook, by the way).

And I am delighted to add this delicious mixed fruit cobbler recipe to my collection which comes to us from

Jenn Sharp

, who you met in last week’s issue when we took you inside one of her magical magazine-worthy parties.

This is a saucy cobbler covered in a buttery pie crust. The filling is a mix of blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, cherries, and plums, and the juice soaks into the flaky crust creating a delicious contrast in textures.

Time: 50 minutes plus 1 hour to let the fruit macerate and at least 1 hour of refrigeration time for the dough

Servings: 6

Dough

• 1 1/4 cups (150 grams) all-purpose flour, plus more for the work surface

• 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt

• 1 tablespoon granulated sugar

• 10 tablespoons salted butter, cold and cut into small cubes

• 2 - 4 tablespoons ice water, as needed

• 1/2 tablespoon melted butter

• 1 tablespoon raw sugar or turbinado sugar

Filling

• 2 plums, unpeeled, chopped into 1-inch cubes

• 1/2 pint (6 ounces) blackberries

• 1/2 pint (6 ounces) blueberries

• 1/4 pint (6 ounces) raspberries

• 1 cup fresh or frozen pitted cherries

• 1 medium to large size lemon

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar

• 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger

• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

• 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom

• 1 tablespoon cold salted butter

Make the dough:

1. Add the flour, salt, and sugar to the bowl of a food processor and pulse a couple of times to combine. Add butter all at once and pulse until the mixture forms small pea-size pieces. Slowly add ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time, and pulse until the dough just comes together. It will be moist, not wet. When it starts to stick to the inside of the bowl and begins to ball up, that’s the stopping point. Do not over process.

2. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and gather into a ball. Flatten into a disk with the heel of your floured hand. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerator for at least 1 hour or up to 2 days. I frequently need it quicker and find 30 minutes in the freezer works well.

Make the filling and assemble the cobbler:

1. Add all the filling ingredients except the butter to a medium size bowl and stir to mix. Let rest at room temperature for at least 1 hour.

2. Preheat the oven to 375° F (190° C).

3. Pour macerated fruits into an 8 or 9-inch square baking dish. Cut 1 tablespoon of butter into small pieces and distribute evenly around the filling.

4. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and place it on a lightly floured work surface. Roll the dough out into a 9 or 10-inch square. Place the square of dough over the fruit filling, rolling, crimping, fluting, or finishing edges as desired.

5. Brush the dough very lightly with 1/2 tablespoon of melted butter. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of raw or turbinado sugar evenly over the dough.

6. Bake the cobbler for 30 minutes, until the filling is bubbling up around the edges of the cobbler and the crust does not look doughy. Turn oven to Broil (500°F/ 260° C) and move the pan to the top shelf. Brown 1-2 minutes, watching carefully for desired color.

7. Remove the cobbler from the oven and let rest at room temperature until cool. If desired, garnish with a few fresh berries and greens such as snow pea shoots, flat parsley, or rosemary.

Recipe notes from Jenn:

• The crust of this cobbler was inspired by my go-to favorite from Melissa Clark, Heaven in a Pie Pan: The Perfect Crust, with a few small changes to my taste.

• For the best results, use a high-fat, European-style butter. If you use unsalted butter, increase the amount of salt in the dough to 3/4 teaspoon. In my experience, European, high-fat butter is far superior to American, as regards to quality.

• For best results, keep everything cold when working with dough. Cold surface, cold hands, cold dough. To flatten the dough for use, place it on a cold, floured surface and using a wooden rolling pin, whack the disk a few times to get it started. Then, roll with a floured rolling pin to the desired thickness, rotating 45-90° a few times. Touch the dough as little as possible with your hands. Use a bench scraper or rolling pin to transfer the rolled out crust from your work surface to the baking dish.

A note from Rebecca:

I made this cobbler this week and, as you can see from the photo below, it’s a saucy cobbler, that you’ll probably want to eat with a spoon. I was wishing we had some vanilla ice cream to go with it because all that gorgeous juice would make a delicious topping. If you make this, consider serving it with a scoop of your favorite vanilla or berry ice cream or sorbet.

For more from Jenn, subscribe to her brand new newsletter!

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Hey, hey Lost Supper Club members! Read on for some photos and videos from one of our favorite Louisiana campgrounds, some juicy recommendations, a stunning gift from Italy, a recipe for Pasta with Olive Tapenade and Kale, a creative idea for adding more social connection and fun to your week, and downloadable pdfs of all the recipes in this issue.

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