42 Comments
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Shell Plant's avatar

Oh Rebecca, I am just catching up on your posts and oh my goodness. Your love is abundant, as is your admiration for him, and that truly is so beautiful to read. Just sending you so much love, and hugs.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you so much my friend. That means a lot to me. ❤️

AmaJoyce's avatar

Happy Birthday Corey🌕 hope you are swinging through with your golf club and sending love to all. Birthdays are always special and continue on for our children as long as we are still here to remember. No Regrets and only love for moms who have to time travel.

The first Tyler birthday 2003 without him for me was the first time I knew time didn’t matter when it came to us being together in space.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

That’s beautiful, AmaJoyce. Thank you for sharing that.

Marjory Pilley's avatar

It's taken me a moment to hop over here after reading your moving post this past Saturday. I literally had a tear fall into my lunch. It was so raw and I felt your loss and struggle to remember details to my very core. I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your memories and insights. Your posts always make me stop and think. 🫶

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Oh Marjory, thank you so much. Being a mother is never easy, is it?

I am so looking forward to being in the same room with you later this month. ❤️

Stephanie Hansen's avatar

I got to this post late but… so glad i did. As a child my sister died when i was 12 and she 18. I have lots of memories and lots of what would life be like now. It comforts me.

Get the bean bags for the boat. I love them. 😍

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

For our daughters, the hardest moments are the milestones in their own life. They want him to see how their lives are unfolding and being a part of it. Loosing a sibling is very hard.

Getting the bean bags for sure.

Robin Visser's avatar

This is beautiful Rebecca. Keeping Cory alive in your memories and your daughters is so important. I lost both parents young. I find keeping their memory alive for me and my children is the only legacy I can give them. Keep it up. It’s worth it.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you Robin. ❤️

Rachel Shenk's avatar

Thank you for exquisitely describing life after loss. We somehow learn to live with it even as we as we appreciate how that loss has changed us.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Yes. Perfectly said.

Sanaa Boutayeb Naïm's avatar

May Corey’s memory always warms your heart. I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful and touching tribute to him on his birthday. Thank you for sharing 💛

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you so much Sannaa. ❤️

Amela Marin's avatar

Sending you a big hug, Rebecca. What a heart-breaking description of grief and love. With everything you create and all the relationships you build here and elsewhere, you add beauty to those memories.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you Amela. Those words mean a lot to me.

Elizabeth Pizzinato's avatar

Rebecca, this broke my heart wide open. It is so hard to find the right language for grief, understanding, anger, and all the messy human things that tear us apart in loss. What I do know from my own experiences is that the path is never linear; it is rocky, and it is also full of flowers blooming along the way.

Thank you for sharing Corey with us. Sending you a big virtual hug, my friend 💕

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

That is the perfect way to describe it. I wish you didn’t understand, but I know you do. Sending a big virtual hug right back. ❤️

Mira Dessy's avatar

My heart goes out to you and your family. It's such a challenge to lose anyone we love. May his memory be for a blessing

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you, my friend.

Sandra Serrano's avatar

Sending so much love to you and Steve! ❤️ This really resonated with me. You describe how I feel about my brother. He died when he was 43 but honestly we hadn't seen in each other in person for 10 years prior to his passing. I remember him as the brother I lived with when I was young, not as the adult he became, and sadly I often struggle to remember specificities of moments share with him. What you said... it's a loss not just of him, but of the creation of new memories... that hits hard. I have to stop myself from imagining what his life could've been like because there is no point. He's gone. But one thing I know is that even if the memories are vague, the feeling of them is not. The "I loved him" is what matters. Thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable in explaining something no one should ever have to. 🫂

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you for this, my friend. I wish you didn’t understand, but I know you do. Over the weekend, a cousin that was very close to Corey shared a list of things that have happened over the past 6 years that she thought might surprise him. It was written “to” him and it struck me as a way to relate new events to what we think he might have thought about them. It’s not the same as new memories of him, but it’s something.

Betty Williams's avatar

What a beautiful tribute to your son and sending hugs to you, my friend. Thank you for sharing your story. It is one that resonates not only with those who have had a child pass away but also with those whose children may no longer want a relationship with them for various reasons. The loss is profound and heartbreaking in so many ways. Love you 💞

Melissa Norman's avatar

Wonderful and powerful writing Rebecca. I'm so sorry you don't have him around to celebrate his birthday with but remembering him, even if in pieces that you are not quite sure go together, is still showing the love you had for him. Sending you a big hug xxxx

Amie McGraham's avatar

Thank you for sharing Cory with us. He—and you—are exceptional humans.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you, my friend.

Lolly Martyn's avatar

I just started reading this book, The Correspondent, so I don’t know what’s going to happen, but the protagonist is writing letters with Joan Didion about grief and loss at one point. And says about her lost son, “I’ve spent my life trying to get back to having him even though I know I cannot.” I don’t know if that’s how you feel but I thought it might be, and might resonate. It hit me over the head like a brick.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Yes, that resonates. A lot of what Joan Didion wrote resonates with me. Something about the way she phrases things hits home.

Christine's avatar

So well written. The perfect description of the life after. Love you.

Rebecca Blackwell's avatar

Thank you my friend. Love you back.